Silly Me

I always love the first experience.
It feels so exciting.
And This is first time everyone thought im cheating.

Im not flirting, this is just a dinner between friends. So why do I look like a sinner one? Why cant I sleep then?

I know He will never let me have another guy friend. I know he will never let me go even I ve already been sick of this relationship.

Yeah, this is my fault, my stupidity.
But Im enjoying this.
Even
I hate my brain.
I hate my mouth.
I hate myself.
I hate the childish side of me
I am at the lowest of my energi.
I cant sleep.
I cant wake up.
I hate for being overreacting.
I wish I could stop.
I know I cant.
The best thing that I can do is run.
And one day I Will run again and have a proper life. 
I hate I have no one.
I wish I could have mom.
I wish Im still a teenager so I can burst out to dad.
This stupid thought.
I hate for being thoughtful.