He drives me wherever I need to go.
He will be very grumpy whenever I fall things down but will be the first to fix.
He  carries and order the things when I move.
He could listen everything I say.
But he never accepts the word no.
He would fight to get yes.
Never gives me a space.
Making me tired and wanna quit badly.
Feels like trapped in a hot crazy circle.
Trapped and spoiled.
It makes me clumsy.
Making me such a slow person.
But he always makes my stomach full.
Feels relax around him.
I can say and  do something ridiculous when Im with him.
I need him.
Instead of I want to be strong again.
I cant run again.
It feels alone without him.
He is just like a brother.
He is the only best friend.

Stop and Think

So fuck*ng stressed studying English, the writing topic's just made me want to throw up whats inside my stomach. What am I doing right now? Studying, studying, s.t.u.d.y.i.n.g, for what? Sometimes I am afraid that I will give up, and all I will get be nothing.

What for? I have already had the job. that I want be settled in. Let me think.

Is it weird when you specify a fiction story as an inspiration for what are you going to do in your life? I know, its weird and inapproriate.

But I really like the character of tutor pleng in a Thailand movie. It was an old movie. The title movie was "I fine, Thank you, I love you", err am I wrong? Yeah the title just kinda like that.

The movie was about a life of an English tutor. I love how she managed a fun class for children, a semi serious class for adult. And I like the way she spoke English. She is really good to be a teacher. She can speak English slowly to her private student, but when she speak English normally, what a well pronunciation.

I would like to be like her in the future. Let me imagine, when I will be in the end of my twenty, I will stay in an apartment, teaching in my own course or in a college and of course, have a car 😀. Sometimes I could be an English interpreter, or a document translator. Im sure I will have very good allowance hahaha

Yet I need to study seriously to achieve that. I need to study a lot, lot, lots of study. L to the O the to the T, L.O.T.S
I should just uninstall webtoon, mobile legend, instagram, viu and use the time for studying. But, oh I was a zombie, attached on phone screen, just like others.
Even now Its normal to be addicted to smartphone, its not weird. The weird person is studying alone in a crowd. Ironic me, us human jaman now.

Menulis sesuatu yang seperti lirik

Dunia dewasa adalah saat kita melihat mimpi dan realitas saling kejar mengejar dan bahkan bertolak belakang.

Hal-hal yang kita pelajari di sekolah, nasehat orang tua dan sebagainya,  anehnya terlupakan, tenggelam dalam kesibukan, pengaruh pergaulan dan ambisi sesaat.

So deep 😁
Ya karena itu aku terpikir menulis lirik puisi, namun memiliki irama dalam perasaanku. Entah bagus atau tidak, tapi aku akan mempostingnya sebagai sesuatu  yang "aku udah pernah menulis sesuatu seperti ini lho". 😁


"Bersama"


Saat hal buruk datang menimpa
Kuputuskan, itu adalah
Kesempatan ku merasakan dunia

Setiap pengalaman berharga
Kuputuskan tetap setia
Menjalani tiap duka bersama

Karena kita berdiri di dasar yang sama
Cinta yang membuat kita
Tetap berada 'tuk sama lain

Pegang tanganku dan rasakan
Ada semangat untuk tetap berjuang
Jangan pernah takut kupergi
Kurasa tak ada lagi, yang membuatku memahami
Dunia

Kau tak akan mengerti yang kurasakan
Gelisah trauma dan lelah
Merasa rendah dan tak berdaya
Namun mimpi kita kan tetap berpijar
Sinari langkah kedepan
Saat nanti kita hanya mengenang
Semua kesalahan dan derita masa lalu
Disitu, dimasa depan, aku akan tetap bersamamu.